Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
