You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and she was petting her beer can
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
