I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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