'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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