I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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