He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well I just put wine in my tea
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize