I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Are we still banned from the library?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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