it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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