I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
