4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just googled if crying burns calories
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
