My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
