If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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