Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We just shotgunned beers for America
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
