I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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