I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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