Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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