OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
