All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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