I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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