Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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