I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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