So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
