I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
