i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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