I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
