Dual....:-)
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Randomize
