i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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