I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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