Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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