I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
God, I missed his penis.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
