My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
