YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
