It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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