That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
