I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
