I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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