I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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