Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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