I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize