My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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