I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
