I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
