I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
