chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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