is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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