I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
