So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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