Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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