Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
