better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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