TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
