Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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