she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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