Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
