Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
