Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
