Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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