It was confusing and full of hummus
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
