All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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