I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
