Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
