he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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