Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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