dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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