You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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