In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
