I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
