I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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