why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize