I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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