Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
