If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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