I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
